I Have A Photographic Memory...
...I'm just all out of film.
... but it's underdeveloped.
Fancy coming over for the slide show?
Must focus, will strong......
... and its setting you up for a centerfold shoot right now.
... but I got sued out of existence by Kodak.
... but all I can see is some damn wildebeast
...but the flash bulb is burned out.
.....but my SmartMedia card is full (again)
... with cheap film. I feel like an old movie, sometimes.
... of all of the things I've seen since age 2, when they put in the film. This includes the French Revolution, Pet Rocks, and Reruns of 'Bonanza'. Oh GOD. The Horror.
...and I feel for the last poor submitter. Really.
I Have A Pornographic Mammary
I have a prophylactic nunnery
I have a prophetic winery
I have a homonymic quandry.
I can solve that quandry: SHUTTHEFUKUP.
Could you dissolve my laundry?
(getting back to the premise)... but my lens cap is still on.
... except for that shade of pink.
(IF you know what I mean...)
...I just forgot to advance the film.
...but the developer chemicals went bad.
...but my zoom lens needs bifocals.
(can this premise really support 47 more entries?)
(Hell, no. I never expected it to actually be a premise.)
(Oh. Well, in that case...)
... of each and every Harmonic Convergence.
...of every family vacation. Want to see the slides?
... for Declan McManus impersonators. Raaaaaaaat!
Last year I ate 12 cookies.
My cat smells like dust.
Does it hate to get mussed?
...I remember the smell of every construction worker I've ever met *shudder*
If a cat falls in the middle of dust and no one is around, who cares?
Nothing worse than a dusty pussy. Someone going to oil it up?
Bleah. Oily, dusty pussy? No thanks, I'm tryin' to cut down!
33 more, huh? Well, this is certainly going to be painful.
I know. What was I thinking? Last time I drink that much cough syrup, let me tell you.
Mmmm... Formula 44-D... aghlghlghlghlghlghlg...
Mainline it next time. Amateur.
Or at least freebase it. Geesh!
Isn't that one of those little kids' games...? "I have a photographic memory?"
... I remember every foul fowl ever reiterated by a language major that was a poet.
Did someone back there say "Pornographic Mammary?" Hey, that's funny!!!
... his name was RENTAL.
...I put a tuna fish sandwich under each arm ...
...I put a slice of bologna in each shoe...
but I forgot to bring my magic bag of hamster
...but I forgot to make this goddamned nest tankable.
...but I had to swallow the film for reasons of national security.
...I just can't recollect.
...but I'm not a goddamned, sack-slurping link-pilot...
...so I can't show you.
...but its all fuzzy around the edges.
...but this nest can hold 15 more twigs.
No, it can't.
And that's a good thing.
ooooh, *that's* not a telephoto lense!
Polarized for her pleasure
No, it certainly isn't a telephoto "lense."
No, it's a "lenze!!!!"
No, you're an "idiot!!!!"
Everything looks good in black and white
"Lenze!!!!" was a "Joak!!!!," "More-on!!!!
No, you're an "idiot!!!!"
Only 1 twig left.
I seem to've embarrassed myself.....Excuse me.
This nest was last updated
Sunday, October 15, 2000.